Wednesday, March 02, 2005
To Denise
Think of this as a repeat of my previous entry, except it's directed towards someone else. Towards the other person involved in my dilemma.
First of all, I would like to apologize again for what happened with the shooting last Sunday. I'm really sorry that I was not able to go. I swear to you, I would have gone if only my parents had allowed me to. I'd tried to convince them to let me go. We even fought about it, the conversation eventually turning into a yelling match.
You told Papu that you don't think my excuse was valid. I can understand how you feel about our not going. I can see why you are mad. But please, try to see it from my side, too. I don't know your parents, I don't know how they think about these kind of things. But I think I can safely assume that their thinking is a lot different from that of my parents. My parents are conservative people bordering on extreme paranoia. But I can't help that. You can't choose what your parents will be. And whatever I may want, they're still my parents and always will be. As long as I live under their roof and depend on them, I have no choice but to go by their rules. Even if your parents are more lenient than mine, you've got to understand that one fact. All parents, after all, are alike in the basic things, such as making the rules for their children.
You blame us for the way the film is turning out, because we hadn't been there to help you out. Aminado na ako dun. That's why I keep apologizing, and that's why I'm doing all I can to try to make up for it, even if I had to make the storyboard for the fourth time. But everytime we try to give you suggestions, you shoot them down without even really listening first. We offer to handle the entire editing process from here on, but you still insist on controlling everything. I mean, I know you want to get a really good grade on this (believe me, so do we), and I know you are the writer and you think of this as your baby, but isn't it part of creative writing workshops that others give inputs to your work as well? Why won't you even try listening first before giving us bored looks that are designed to make us feel humiliated by even trying to make suggestions? And how can we help when you don't let us and when you don't trust us enough to help out?
You're telling us you want to change the story now, because you've realized how complicated the original concept is. That would've been fine with me, but I wish you'd realized it earlier, so that we could have worked on it earlier. We did try to tell you that the story is a bit difficult to do. But you didn't listen, so we gave in. The presentation's next week, and you suddenly decide to change things all over again when we've finally thought of a way to salvage everything.
Fine, I can manage to live with that.
What I don't appreciate is what you said to me this morning. What I didn't like was the feeling that I'm being blackmailed, being threatened. You told me that if I didn't want your new idea, I could continue the old one, ask Papu if he wants to help me out with it, and you'll work on your own, your new idea. Wow. What was that supposed to mean? When I asked, you said, yes, you would have your own group, do your own thing and submit your own project, because you don't like the original film. Well, that's really great. As far as I know, you were the one who wrote the script, the one who chose it for our film, the one who arranged for it all to be filmed. And now, you're the one who wants to back out. You want to know the truth? I wanted to move back to my old group too. But I am not even considering it now, even though they did offer me to work with them anyway. You know why? Because there are other people involved, and it would be unfair if one member would back out just because he/she doesn't like the ideas of the others in his/her group. That's not the way it works. I didn't want your original idea either, because I'd thought it would be too complicated, but I didn't move, did I? I even tried to defend it to my parents, gotten into a fight over it. And it was because of the original script that I hadn't been allowed to go to the shoot, and why these all happened. But I'm sticking with it. Why can't you?
Again, I'm really sorry for not being able to go to the shoot. But I explained my reason for that, and though I know you think it's not valid, I really can't do anything about my situation. Please try to see it from my side. You think I enjoyed that weekend, feeling guilty the whole time because I didn't go? And Denise, I know you want a great project, but give us some leeway at least. We're not exactly experts in videomaking, but we are trying. Trust us a little to do our jobs. Don't think we're going to bungle it all up if you aren't there to supervise us. Let's just finish this. Let's have a little fun for what's left of the project. So we won't all part ways resenting each other.
# Lyn found a missing piece @ 8:23 PM 
Comments:
ahhmm.. so si papu rin, naiinis kay denise? nyeek.. sumama na kayong dalawa sa group namin! labo talaga non..
# posted by 
: 8:00 AM
: 8:00 AM
no...hindi naman. pareho naman naming naiintindihan na masama lang talaga loob ni denise sa di namin pagpunta nung sunday. pero, nung nag-usap kami ni papu, naisip lang ni papu na may tendency si denise na maging control freak. pero di naman siya talaga naiinis kay denise...
Oh well... I can understand her situation, na-ganyan na rin ako more times than I can count. XP Bleh. Well, it was wrong of her to be vindictive though but I guess if I were her I'd react exactly the same way, kasi nga di ba why ask people to help you if you can do it yourself? Sa tingin ko just wait and see na lang, bahala na siya. Whatever she decides rest in the small comfort that it's HER decision, not yours. And should she decide to back out to do her own thing, then suddenly return to you, just welcome her back and let bygones be bygones - after all, she did the hardest task of it by herself. v^_^v
alam mo kung anong pinag-usapan namin sa Philo102 nung isang araw? Tunay na Diyalogo. Gist: Kailangan mong sabihin sa iyong kapwa LAHAT ng kailangan mong sabihin (at kailangan niyang malaman) dahil iyon lamang ang paraan para tumubo kayo pareho patungo sa tunay na pagpapakatao. Sa tingin ko lang, malaki ang tulong ng payo ni Buber sa problema mo. :)
Goodluck with your film (and denise). huwag kang mag-alala, andito naman block E sa likod mo. :)
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Goodluck with your film (and denise). huwag kang mag-alala, andito naman block E sa likod mo. :)
