Friday, May 20, 2005
End of Summer Class
Summer school's over. I'm through with Political Science 100. Well, I'll still have to submit that final paper on Monday, but after that, I'm through. It's hard to believe that I only took Polsci 100 in about 5 weeks. If I'd taken it on a regular semester, it would have taken almost 5 months. I guess that's the advantage of summer classes. They just fly by. Though it does get stressful trying to cram a semester's load into 5 weeks. But another advantage of a summer class is that some professors--like mine--aren't as energetic during the summer either. I think I would have had a harder time if it had been a regular semester.
I know I probably won't get the great grade that I had been hoping for. My grades weren't all that impressive. And I have that one failed test. But I'm still holding out for a B. Who knows? I might still make it.
___________________
I'm hungry. I've been trying to starve myself ever since we got back from El Nido. I've been skipping breakfast since last Tuesday, and sometimes, I don't eat lunch either. I know, I'm being stupid for doing this to myself, and dad's going to kill me if he finds out I've been skipping meals. And it's not as if I'm actually succeeding in losing more than two or three pounds. Why is it that some people can drop pounds so easily when they eat more than others?
Don't really know why I'm doing this to myself. Everyone tells me I'm not fat, and some part of me knows that I'm not, I guess. But everytime I see my sister, I just can't help it. Maybe I've always secretly been jealous of my sister. Maybe I've always felt this great need to be like her, measure up to her. I suppose that makes me bad. I can't be as smart as she is, so there's no way around it. But I'm getting tired of feeling like the ugly duckling. Feeling so dumpy compared to my sister. No, nobody tells me that, it's just me. What can I say? I've never had an excellent self-esteem. I guess there's some sort of chemical imbalance in my head that makes me feel so...inadequate in so many ways.
I know I probably won't get the great grade that I had been hoping for. My grades weren't all that impressive. And I have that one failed test. But I'm still holding out for a B. Who knows? I might still make it.
___________________
I'm hungry. I've been trying to starve myself ever since we got back from El Nido. I've been skipping breakfast since last Tuesday, and sometimes, I don't eat lunch either. I know, I'm being stupid for doing this to myself, and dad's going to kill me if he finds out I've been skipping meals. And it's not as if I'm actually succeeding in losing more than two or three pounds. Why is it that some people can drop pounds so easily when they eat more than others?
Don't really know why I'm doing this to myself. Everyone tells me I'm not fat, and some part of me knows that I'm not, I guess. But everytime I see my sister, I just can't help it. Maybe I've always secretly been jealous of my sister. Maybe I've always felt this great need to be like her, measure up to her. I suppose that makes me bad. I can't be as smart as she is, so there's no way around it. But I'm getting tired of feeling like the ugly duckling. Feeling so dumpy compared to my sister. No, nobody tells me that, it's just me. What can I say? I've never had an excellent self-esteem. I guess there's some sort of chemical imbalance in my head that makes me feel so...inadequate in so many ways.
# Lyn found a missing piece @ 4:58 PM 
