Thursday, May 26, 2005
Second Floor
Ah, God. I'm in deep shit. Actually, I've been sinking since I started applying for colleges. Now I'm in fourth year, and I still don't know what I want. I don't know what's going to happen after college.
That's the disadvantage of going into arts. You can pretty much look forward to an unstable life afterwards. What to do, what to do. That's always the question. And they don't even offer OJTs for my course to help you decide. That's one of my deepest regrets. So now, graduation is just around the corner, and it looks like I've got unemployment--or an employment in our family business (horror of horrors)--to look forward to.
My family--hell, my entire clan--expects me to take up law because I've said that I'm thinking about it. For my family, thinking about it is the same as actually going through with it. They're already talking about having a second lawyer in the family. And isn't it great that I'll be following the footsteps of my godmother in confirmation?
Stupid. I should have just kept my mouth shut whenever they asked me what I'm going to do after college.
I don't know if I still want to be a lawyer. I never was certain about that...it was more like something to think about as an alternative, or a lesser evil to having to work for my parents. Something that would be mine, as my godmother once told me. But after taking Political Science this summer... Oh sure, it wasn't that bad. I even did ok in some of the papers. But damn it, I don't know if I really can handle taking classes about those stuff for four years. I mean, I never was all that keen about politics. And I'm not even good at speaking and debating.
But if I don't take law...what will happen to me? The others are going to take their masters in creative writing. I suppose I could do that, too. But one thing I've learned this past three years is that I'm not that good a writer, and you have to be exceptional in the arts if you want to have at least the minimum level of success in that field. I'd need a lot more skill and discipline to make it as a writer, and I don't know if a masteral degree in creative writing would give me those.
I could teach, but I don't even know the first thing about it. I like kids, but I don't know how to teach. I'd only end up being a liability to them.
Edlyn, Edlyn, Edlyn. Why the heck did you let yourself wait until fourth year college to start thinking about your future? Why the heck didn't you think about what comes afterwards when you were choosing courses for college? Why do you have to be so indecisive? Decide what you want! Choose! Why do you have to turn such a simple decision into a mind-twisting dilemma?
That's the disadvantage of going into arts. You can pretty much look forward to an unstable life afterwards. What to do, what to do. That's always the question. And they don't even offer OJTs for my course to help you decide. That's one of my deepest regrets. So now, graduation is just around the corner, and it looks like I've got unemployment--or an employment in our family business (horror of horrors)--to look forward to.
My family--hell, my entire clan--expects me to take up law because I've said that I'm thinking about it. For my family, thinking about it is the same as actually going through with it. They're already talking about having a second lawyer in the family. And isn't it great that I'll be following the footsteps of my godmother in confirmation?
Stupid. I should have just kept my mouth shut whenever they asked me what I'm going to do after college.
I don't know if I still want to be a lawyer. I never was certain about that...it was more like something to think about as an alternative, or a lesser evil to having to work for my parents. Something that would be mine, as my godmother once told me. But after taking Political Science this summer... Oh sure, it wasn't that bad. I even did ok in some of the papers. But damn it, I don't know if I really can handle taking classes about those stuff for four years. I mean, I never was all that keen about politics. And I'm not even good at speaking and debating.
But if I don't take law...what will happen to me? The others are going to take their masters in creative writing. I suppose I could do that, too. But one thing I've learned this past three years is that I'm not that good a writer, and you have to be exceptional in the arts if you want to have at least the minimum level of success in that field. I'd need a lot more skill and discipline to make it as a writer, and I don't know if a masteral degree in creative writing would give me those.
I could teach, but I don't even know the first thing about it. I like kids, but I don't know how to teach. I'd only end up being a liability to them.
Edlyn, Edlyn, Edlyn. Why the heck did you let yourself wait until fourth year college to start thinking about your future? Why the heck didn't you think about what comes afterwards when you were choosing courses for college? Why do you have to be so indecisive? Decide what you want! Choose! Why do you have to turn such a simple decision into a mind-twisting dilemma?
# Lyn found a missing piece @ 5:09 PM 
