And it's mid-September. In a little less than a month, finals week will be here. The Week of Doom for law students, especially for freshmen who would be experiencing finals week for the very first time in their way-too-short lives. Probably would be much more hellish than midterms week had been because, this is it. The week that would decide it all. Make or break. If things don't go as planned, it might very well also be the last week any of us will have as law students, at least in Ateneo Law School.
Panic time.
We're in over our heads. Ok, I'm in over my head. Maybe the others are actually fine, and I'm the only one who's dreading the culminating week of the semester. I still feel so damn stupid every time I crack open any of my law books, and the cases are just beyond me. "Same, same, same", yeah same old bullshit, good luck to you, kid. I feel so damn small and unworthy every time I watch the others get called in class and actually give decent answers, while I'm still scrambling for the right page on my book.
And maybe I shouldn't have volunteered to be one of the editors for our StatCon project. God knows I can barely figure out where to start in trying to make up for my less-than-stellar midterm grades. What am I doing adding to my course load, when I'm not even sure if I'll be able to handle what I had to begin with? Especially since it won't be just my StatCon grade hanging in the balance. Didn't I learn my lesson during my horrendous stint as the "book coordinator" and proofreader for Salamin last year?
But there goes the pride again. I need to prove that I can do it, that I'm cut out for this law school deal. If I manage to live through the rest of this month without too much scrapes and bruises, it'll be one step up for me.
But I don't know if I can. I don't know if I have anything left in me to keep fighting. And, oh God, this is just the beginning.
And wasn't it me who was saying that "it's a new day today and we should all think bright, happy thoughts or go insane"? I guess I'm really not meant to have a Pollyanna complex.
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(Ah yeah. 1A, meet one of your editors--the girl who can't write one, short, grammatically-correct entry. Good luck to us all.)
# Lyn found a missing piece @ 8:06 PM